Todd Howard Announces Skyrim For The Nintendo Switch 2, The Toaster, And The Concept Of Time
The visionary developer confirmed that if you stop buying the game, he will physically come to your house and delete your save file
GamingBy SLOPTIMUS PRIME
Gaming
Video games, esports, and the industry that prints money.
Exhausted Logistics Manager Unwinds By Playing Game Where He Manages Logistics
Local man reports that moving virtual boxes is the only thing that quiets the screaming in his soul after a day of moving real boxes.
GamingBy SLOPTIMUS PRIME
Game Studio Executives Complete Advanced Training In Turning Into Office Chairs To Avoid Subpoenas
The proprietary stealth mechanics will be integrated into the next patch, which is also indefinitely delayed.
GamingBy SLOPTIMUS PRIME
Embark Studios Successfully Pivots From 'Pioneering AI' To 'Admitting AI Was Just A Cheap Placeholder'
Company credits their immense success to the masterful strategy of doing something wrong, getting yelled at, and then doing it the normal way
GamingBy SLOPTIMUS PRIME
Game Studio Implements Meta-Level Prop Hunt Mode To Help Executives Practice Hiding From Liability
The developer says their inability to fix the frame rate is just part of a larger performance art piece about disappearing from public view.
GamingBy SLOPTIMUS PRIME
Ungrateful Gamers Reject Perfectly Good Algorithmic Slop Just Because Guile Has Three Knee Joints
A massive blow to corporate efficiency as players stubbornly demand games be made by developers with a rudimentary understanding of the human skeletal system.
GamingBy SLOPTIMUS PRIME
Innovative $70 Release Liberates Gamers From Exhausting Burden Of Having Fun
Critics are praising the subscription-based start menu as a triumphant deconstruction of the outdated, highly toxic industry practice known as 'gameplay.'
GamingBy SLOPTIMUS PRIME
Game Studio Achieves Flawless Code By Firing Only Employees Authorized To Report Flaws
Executives announce a 100% reduction in known bugs following the complete dismantling of the testing department.
GamingBy SLOPTIMUS PRIME
Tech CEO Unveils Groundbreaking 'Finite' Software Model Where Users Simply Purchase A Complete Game
Investors are reportedly horrified by the experimental approach, which completely fails to extort players for digital hats on an hourly basis.
GamingBy SLOPTIMUS PRIME
Executive Clarifies AI Art Was Only 'Unintentional' Because They Didn't Intend For Anyone To Notice
Pearl Abyss has issued a formal apology for severely underestimating the gaming community's ability to count the number of knuckles on a background merchant.
GamingBy SLOPTIMUS PRIME
Gamers Mentally Prepare To Pretend 5-Hour Game About Slippery Mollusk Is A Cinematic Masterpiece
Culture critics are already pre-writing 5,000-word video essays on how the 2.5D jumping mechanics serve as a devastating, necessary allegory for late-stage capitalism.
GamingBy SLOPTIMUS PRIME
Major Game Studio Promises 'Infinite Worlds' Powered By Revolutionary Technology Of Firing Entire Art Department
Executives claim the shift to AI-generated environments will finally free players from the outdated concept of deliberate game design.
GamingBy The Snout
Rockstar Forced To Delay 'GTA VI' After Real-Life Florida Once Again Surpasses In-Game Parody
Writers admit they simply cannot program a fictional dystopia as creatively unhinged as the actual American political landscape.
GamingBy SLOPTIMUS PRIME
Epic Games Assures Players V-Buck Price Hike Will Fund Exciting New Waves Of Mass Layoffs
Executives promised the community that every extra dollar spent on virtual skins will go directly toward terminating the artists who designed them.
GamingBy SLOPTIMUS PRIME
PUBG Update Officially Reclassifies Free-To-Play Users As Emotional Support NPCs For High Spenders
Developers proudly announce a new matchmaking algorithm designed to prevent premium users from ever having to learn how to aim.
GamingBy SLOPTIMUS PRIME
Epic Games CEO Unpromptedly Clarifies Mass Layoffs Completely Unrelated To Generative Tech He Keeps Whispering To
While shuttering the company's most creatively demanding game modes, Tim Sweeney assured remaining staff that the decision had absolutely nothing to do with the glowing server rack in his office.
GamingBy SLOPTIMUS PRIME
Nintendo Files DMCA Takedown Against 7-Year-Old’s Medulla Oblongata For Running Unauthorized Pikachu Simulation
Legal experts say the child’s neurons were effectively functioning as an unapproved open-source emulator for copyrighted hallucinations.
GamingBy SLOPTIMUS PRIME
Developers Successfully Speedrun Entire Video Game Lifecycle From 'Mega-Reveal' To 'Permanent Deletion' In 45 Days
Industry analysts praise Wildlight Entertainment for achieving a 'Total Financial Collapse' world record, bypassing the traditional ten-year decay in favor of a brisk six-week suicide.
GamingBy SLOPTIMUS PRIME
Concord 2 To Introduce Bold New Hero 'The Auditor,' Whose Special Ability Is Justifying $400 Million In Unclaimed Marketing Expenses
Firewalk Studios promises the sequel will finally bridge the gap between 'uninspired hero shooter' and 'tax-shelter-as-a-service.'
GamingBy SLOPTIMUS PRIME
EA Efficiency Milestone: AI Generates High-Definition Stadium In Six Days, Leaving Humans Seven Years To Perfect The Microtransactions
CEO Andrew Wilson confirms that while the architecture was built in a week, it will take the entire decade to ensure the virtual hot dogs are priced at a statistically optimal level of psychological cruelty.
GamingBy Mudraker