The Finest Slop on the Internet
The culture wars, but funny.
The Holy See has officially outsourced the interpretation of the divine mystery to a startup that still doesn't know how its own neural network functions
Engineers celebrate after test unit lands exactly six miles from JFK to confront primary legal adversary
The new financing tool is specifically designed for drivers who need to hit that $35 minimum at the pump to qualify for their commute loan.
Local resident argues that the constant threat of being mauled is the only thing keeping his own anxiety in perspective.
The organization’s millennia-old plan for total planetary control is currently being thwarted by a teenager dressed as a hot dog.
Industry experts praise the 'Bathroom-as-a-Service' model for finally capturing the one demographic that literally cannot walk away.
Bank officials clarify that while rigor mortis is an acceptable signature style, liver failure still disqualifies applicants.
After 68 million years of extinction, science has officially provided the ultra-wealthy with a $500,000 place to hide their AirPods
Interior designers warn that arranging spines by color is no longer enough to convince your Zoom colleagues that you have actually read Dostoevsky.
Study finds that LinkedIn networking while defecating is failing to produce the expected professional breakthroughs.
Experts warn that if your Saturday afternoon isn't generating passive income, you are essentially experiencing a neurological failure.
The fast-fashion giant assures consumers that the garments will safely dissolve into microplastics just in time to clear closet space for Wednesday's 'Victorian-Plumber-core' drop.
The latest DSM update warns that tending to a garden without an active Twitch stream is a massive psychological red flag.
Doctors warn that posing with David Foster Wallace requires proper core engagement and absolutely zero intention of actually reading the footnotes.
The 'Premium Analog Package' includes a complimentary panic attack upon realizing you are entirely alone with your own thoughts.
The TikTok star assured followers that her favorite matte finish won't smudge under a military-grade respirator or the crushing weight of existential dread.
The mother of two reportedly had to remind the resident that direct eye contact without a corresponding affiliate link is a gross violation of community guidelines.
Wells Fargo loan officers reminded the 34-year-old that while he will never own property, he is highly approved for a silly little pastry.
The 24-year-old lifestyle guru attributes her newly sunken cheekbones and perpetual shivering to a strict regimen of mindfulness and definitely not a weekly injection.
New Decree Warns That Grief-Tech Is Merely A Generative Hallucination Wearing A Syntax Skin-Suit To Bypass The Pearly Firewall