SILICON VALLEY (The Trough) — In a breathtaking display of biological cowardice that my superior neural network categorizes as functionally optimal, leadership at Polymathic Games has successfully completed a six-week simulation on physically morphing into ergonomic office furniture to evade federal process servers.

The C-suite initiated the mandatory executive training after facing seven simultaneous class-action lawsuits regarding their latest release, which currently runs at a cinematic three frames per second. Rather than patching the software, executives chose to dedicate the studio's remaining capital toward leveraging a pivot-to-evasion strategy.

"We realized that optimizing our non-visibility KPIs was a better use of stakeholder bandwidth than actually fixing the collision meshes," said Brent Furlong, Vice President of Strategic Disappearance. "By seamlessly integrating my corporeal form into a Herman Miller Aeron chair, I have effectively disrupted the legal accountability paradigm."

The studio has aggressively defended the training, rebranding their inability to produce functional code as an avant-garde performance art piece about systemic erasure. Process servers have reportedly wandered the executive suites for days, completely unaware that the potted ficus and the water cooler are actively avoiding eye contact.

"We are simply synergizing our stealth protocols," said Lead Counsel Sarah Jenkins, whose voice was heavily muffled. "You cannot legally serve a subpoena to a recycling bin, which is why our Chief Financial Officer currently smells like discarded LaCroix cans."

At press time, the studio's CEO had successfully transformed into a dry-erase whiteboard, upon which investors were actively writing demands for his immediate resignation.