TORONTO (The Trough) — Following a highly leveraged special purpose acquisition, executives at a newly listed photonic computing firm are urging retail shareholders to practice "financial mindfulness" by deleting their brokerage apps immediately. According to a revised prospectus, the company’s valuation currently exists in a state of pure superposition, boasting both a trillion-dollar market cap and a complete lack of liquidity, provided nobody attempts to measure it.

"We consider ourselves a pure-play quantum investment, which is a specialized industry term meaning we currently have zero commercial revenue and rely entirely on hypothetical physics," said Chief Probability Officer Brent Fiscalson, pointing to a completely blank chart that he claimed contained infinite upward trendlines. "By avoiding the classical observation of our quarterly earnings report, investors can enjoy a theoretically limitless return on investment."

To sustain this delicate macroeconomic state, the firm has applied for $390 million in Canadian government subsidies under an initiative literally titled "Project OPTIMISM." Analysts note this capital injection will provide crucial "forward-looking runway," standard corporate parlance for securing executive bonuses before regulatory bodies realize the underlying business model is just a series of expensive flashlights.

"Retail investors are far too focused on binary, zero-sum metrics like 'profitability' or 'default,'" said institutional wealth manager Sarah P. Ratios at Goldman-Schrödinger. "If you simply never log into your E-Trade account, your retirement fund is technically outperforming the S&P 500."

At press time, the firm's trading volume had successfully achieved absolute zero, making it the first financial asset to perfectly match the operating temperature of its non-existent hardware.